By Steve Eyes
Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in the United States, has witness the wrath, jealously and prejudice of American women towards Asian ladies. I know I have, as have many of my friends. The stereotypical has some merit: American women can’t compete against the Asians’ sexuality, American women feel threaten and some American women simply think Asians are stealing their men. These all bear some truth.
My experience is first hand. I dated many Asian ladies and have heard the comments. If we frequent a typical American club, I have had my dates threaten by American women in the restroom. In time, Asian clubs sprung up in the United States. At an Asian club, American women are welcome. I have never seen an American lady being threaten by Asians in a typical Asian club. It just isn’t their nature. The crowd in these clubs are usually Asian ladies and American men.
There are many Asian ladies in the U.S., especially from the Philippines. A lot of these ladies arrived via meeting an American G.I. I really don’t know the percentage, but there is no doubt that most Filipina ladies have a military connection in some way. They met in the Philippines, got married, and came to the United States with their military husband. Consequently, you’ll meet Asian ladies in clubs who are married. If you mingle with Asian ladies that frequent the clubs for any length of time, you will eventually meet ladies who are unfaithful. This unfaithfulness is how Filipina ladies are branded as whores by American women. This doesn’t carry the same stigma for American women who may do the same. Hypocrisy is always evident when behaviors of the two cultures are compared.
What the American GI has discovered is now catching on with non-military men. Asian dating sites have sprung up all over the internet. Some of these sites try to exploit the Asians’ sexuality. However, there are many Asian ladies who want to meet a sincere gentlemen for a relationship. As attractive as Asian ladies may be, American men are also captivated by the Asians’ behavior towards men. A man’s dream of having a wife who wants to please him, appreciates his love and treasures his efforts in making a home seems to have been found by American men in the Asian culture. You’ll hear American men call these values “traditional values” because at one time these were the values that held the American family together.
The tired argument about these women being a servant to their husband, is one sided. Do these women like serving their husband? Yes, most do. But not as slaves. They are not forced to do so, but have the desire to please their man out of appreciation and love. These ladies are doing what they want to do. I repeat, they WANT to please their man, do things for him and show their appreciation. In turn, these men are happy, want to provide for their wife and have no desire to look elsewhere for this appreciation. It’s chemistry that once prevailed many years ago in the United States and has been lost in the myriad of women rights in American society.
Why do Filipina women want to marry a foreigner from another country? I’m not going to argue the fact that these ladies want a better life. It’s probably true. I will argue that most women, no matter the country, want to marry in to a better life. Again, it is the hypocrisy of who you are that makes a behavior negative or not. Most women, in the United States, need to look in a mirror before judging ladies from other cultures. Besides wanting a better life, most Asian ladies want better treatment. In a Filipina lady’s eyes, men from the West treat women better then men from their country. Is there truth to this? The feed back I get from the ladies at my website is yes or at least they perceive it to be so. I’m sure the social status of your family makes a difference of how you are treated regardless of your gender, but I’m talking about the average Filipina lady. The difference is simple. In her country what she does for her man or husband is expected without appreciation. Here in the United States, most men come to expect a lady isn’t required to serve him, to want to please him, and love him for who he is. When an Asian lady does, his appreciation is certain. For an Asian lady, the man doesn’t have to be super rich or look like a movie star, just treat her well and show his love. It’s a merry-go-round with respect and love as it’s focal point. She wants to please him, he loves her for pleasing him, she loves him for showing he appreciates her love and so on.
All the above words, statements and my observations have their exceptions. There is no doubt, there are bad men in every country. There is no doubt that some women only are in it for the money or to get a free pass to the United States. These are the exceptions and it is this minority that the media and others will use to blanket a whole culture in a negative light. I’m sure most of you have seen in print or on the news about “mail order bride” scandals or “mail order bride” mistreatment as if this defines all courtships and marriages that develop through the internet. If a few instances defines the standards, then just getting a marriage license in the United States should have a warning imprinted in gold. No matter if a couple met through the internet or at the neighborhood church, you have your share of scandals and mistreatment. The last culture of experts that needs to be giving advise about how to meet and marry a women is the United States – is there any other country whose divorce rate is higher?
The Philippines does not condone online dating sites. For that matter, it is against the law. I’m not going to quote their law here, but it has to do with moral issues. Again hypocrisy!. If the Philippines are so worried about women rights, there are other issues they could concentrate on besides taking away a women’s right to find happiness, love and a better life for herself. She wouldn’t be looking elsewhere, if the Philippine government took care of her needs. Should I complain? Probably not, or most Filipina women would not be joining online dating sites to meet American men. My objection to this law is how it is used in the Philippines as a political vehicle rather then sincere concern for women’s rights. Hypocrisy, it is everywhere, isn’t it?
I started this article to comment on why a lot of American women despise Asian women. Not all American women, but a lot. But the discrimination doesn’t stop there. It is evident in the media, politics and indeed in their own country. The people who are forgotten, are the couples themselves. Why not just ask them? If two people who found each other are happy, in love and want to be together, why does the media and politician think they know better. More then likely, it isn’t about what the couple want, but more about politics and sensationalism to sell news. Take your hatred, your narrow minded views and negative publicity elsewhere and let us find love – even if we find it on the internet.
Steve Eyes is the webmaster and owner of FilipinaEyes Association. His experience comes from finding love on the internet and helping others do the same.